I remember the day that God called me to go to Bible College like it was yesterday. I was at a secular college with the intention of becoming an architect, and I thought how could I possibly go through four years of Bible College. You see, I was getting financial aid at this secular college that I was attending. I didn’t have to pay a dime out of my pocket. I knew that going to Bible College meant that I had to find a way to pay for my tuition on my own. The burden that God had placed on my heart to go to Bible College was heavy, and so I just surrendered by faith. To my luck though, my church at the time helped paid for me to go. It was a little hard my first semester to get accustomed to being at bible college. I was only saved for a year, and I didn’t know much. I thought I was definitely going to get kicked out, there were a lot of new rules that I had to adhere by. My second semester was harder than my first. I was struggling financially. So, I went to get advice from Bro. Nikoley. He told me that people like me shouldn’t be at bible college due to my health. He said that I should take off one, maybe two, semesters. Save up as much as I can, and try to come back with a car. That is exactly what I did. I took off a year, went to live with my family in Texas, and came back with a car and a little extra money saved up. To say that it was an easy break is a lie. My parents weren’t supportive of me being at Bible College. They wanted me to drop out. My dad even went as far as to say that I was weak, a failure, and will never be anything more. Apparently, he only wanted me to pursue a job that would make me a lot of money. To me it was never about the money. I just wanted to serve God. After my dad said all of that to me, I went to spend the week with my friend, Melanie, to help clear my head and determine what I was going to do next. When I came back home, all of my stuff was thrown in a closet. I took that as if they didn’t want me to be there anymore. Besides, my dad would always come home from work and yell throughout the house that he didn’t want me and my siblings to live there anymore. Breaking glass, slamming doors, and punching a hole in the wall to make his point clear. So, I packed up what I could in my car and left. Jumping from couch to couch. Sometimes, I didn’t have a couch to sleep on. Those were dark moments in my life. One of my friends found out, took me in for a while, and encouraged me to go back to college. Which is what I did. Although I did what Bro. Nikoley told me to. I was still struggling with finances. This time though my doctor told me I shouldn’t be in college. It was really starting to affect my health, but that burden was still there. I wanted God to do something with me, even though I felt like I was nothing. No matter how much I prayed for that, I still felt like a failure, and there came a time when I couldn’t pay my college bill. Certain staff members were telling me to go home. That I was wasting my time and money. I didn’t listen though.
A ship doesn’t sink because of the water that is around it. It sinks becuase of the water that is in it. It’s so easy to get caught up in the approval and opinions of others, but don’t let the water get in your boat. After all that happened, things started to get a little better after that. I was working two jobs, so that I could pay for bible college. It came to my last year of bible college and I was going to graduate. If I wasn’t working, I was in classes, and if I wasn’t in classes, I was studying to make sure that I would graduate. Though I did all of this, I still failed a class and couldn’t graduate. I was soo upset and wanted to give up. My friend Hannah Murphy told me to get back up and try again and to try harder than before. So, I did just that. Your friendships will impact your future. If it wasn’t for Hannah Murphy, I wouldn’t have finished. I got back up and tried a little harder. Then my doctor told me my last semester that there is a possibility that I may lose my liver. That he needed to take certain precautions to avoid that. So, now because of that, I am in more pain, I’m more tired, and I’m a little weaker than I was before. By this time I learned that the more valuable the prize to be won, the greater the difficulty and cost. So, I pushed on and now I can say that I finished bible college. Second to my salvation, graduating is my biggest accomplishment, and I couldn’t have done it without God. Those four years were trying times. I didn’t have much. No health. No finances. No home. I spent holidays and birthdays alone. If all I have though is God, then all I have is all I need (John 14:8). Though my flesh and my heart faileth, God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
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Charmaine accepted Christ at the age of 19, and now attends Golden State Baptist College in Santa Clara, CA. Where she is pursuing her Associate’s Degree in General Education. Archives
October 2020
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Photo used under Creative Commons from EU Humanitarian Aid and Civil Protection