Five years ago, God put it on my heart to go the mission field. Unfortunately, I said no! Gasp! I know right. Saying no to God! Yet, He kept tugging on my heart about it every moment for a week until I finally said yes. This was during my freshman year at Bible College. After I had finally said yes, there was a chapel message that afternoon about how God calls us somewhere just to see if we are willing to go. I thought, yep, that’s what He is doing to me. So, I gave up on the idea of going to the mission field. That summer I went home, and God began to start tugging on my heart again about missions. I was confused, I didn’t know what He was doing. That summer I had a friend who was Hispanic, her name is Anna Gaona, I don’t know if you remember her from reading an earlier blog post she did on my blog page. Anyways, I would go over to her house almost every day, and I was like a part of the family. I begin to pick up on more Spanish words as well as grow to love the Hispanic people more. Summer came to an end, and I ended up going back to Bible College. I had new roommates that year and I was excited. We all ended up being very close to each other. There were four of us, and out of the four of us. Two of us lived closed to each other. It was a small world after all. They were the first to hear of my calling to missions. So, when it came time for me to take off some time from college because of finance reasons; my roommate asked if I wanted to drive down with her to Texas. She said that she would look out for me. She just so happened to be Hispanic, and I would join her at her church. Her church had both English and Spanish church. In which I was a part of both, but I loved the Spanish church more. So, that is where I would spend most of my time. I learned a lot of Spanish songs on the Spanish bus route. I would sit in the Spanish services every morning. I even got the chance to sing a song in Spanish church. I just loved it so much. One day, I told my friend that I thought that God was still calling me to missions. She replied, “Where do you think he’s calling you?” I said, “I don’t know, but I think it’s a Spanish country.” That night we had started our missions conference, and I remember going to church early to help out with some things. I remember that there was this older gentlemen who had approached me. Out of respect, I spoke to him in Spanish. He said, ”Wow! Are you one of the missionaries?” I said no. He then replied with this, ”Well you should become one. Your Spanish is really good!” I didn’t confide in anyone else other than my old roommate about what God was doing in my heart. And I was just so amazed to see how God was using what that man said to confirm what He was doing in my heart. Sadly though, I still had my doubts. I ended up going back to bible college. I changed my major from music to general, because I didn’t know what the future had for me. I worked very hard in every aspect of my college life, and God was doing the same in my heart for missions. Before college had started that year, I was a bridesmaid in a wedding of an old friend of mine. I met her soon to be in laws at the wedding. They were very nice people. I found out that they were starting an orphanage, and they could really use the help. I asked where. It just so happened to be in Mexico. So, during my years at college, I kept praying about the mission field. Until one day, God pressed it on my eart so badly that I wanted to drop out of bible college and just go right then and there! I called my friends mother in law and told her what was happening. She told me that I shouldn’t drop out of Bible College because she didn’t want me to regret it later on in life. So, almost everyday I prayed for that orphanage that I wanted to go help in Mexico. I worked really hard to make sure I would graduate and go be a blessing to a bunch of orphans. This video below is where I will be heading in a couple of weeks, and I couldn’t be more excited!
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I remember the day that God called me to go to Bible College like it was yesterday. I was at a secular college with the intention of becoming an architect, and I thought how could I possibly go through four years of Bible College. You see, I was getting financial aid at this secular college that I was attending. I didn’t have to pay a dime out of my pocket. I knew that going to Bible College meant that I had to find a way to pay for my tuition on my own. The burden that God had placed on my heart to go to Bible College was heavy, and so I just surrendered by faith. To my luck though, my church at the time helped paid for me to go. It was a little hard my first semester to get accustomed to being at bible college. I was only saved for a year, and I didn’t know much. I thought I was definitely going to get kicked out, there were a lot of new rules that I had to adhere by. My second semester was harder than my first. I was struggling financially. So, I went to get advice from Bro. Nikoley. He told me that people like me shouldn’t be at bible college due to my health. He said that I should take off one, maybe two, semesters. Save up as much as I can, and try to come back with a car. That is exactly what I did. I took off a year, went to live with my family in Texas, and came back with a car and a little extra money saved up. To say that it was an easy break is a lie. My parents weren’t supportive of me being at Bible College. They wanted me to drop out. My dad even went as far as to say that I was weak, a failure, and will never be anything more. Apparently, he only wanted me to pursue a job that would make me a lot of money. To me it was never about the money. I just wanted to serve God. After my dad said all of that to me, I went to spend the week with my friend, Melanie, to help clear my head and determine what I was going to do next. When I came back home, all of my stuff was thrown in a closet. I took that as if they didn’t want me to be there anymore. Besides, my dad would always come home from work and yell throughout the house that he didn’t want me and my siblings to live there anymore. Breaking glass, slamming doors, and punching a hole in the wall to make his point clear. So, I packed up what I could in my car and left. Jumping from couch to couch. Sometimes, I didn’t have a couch to sleep on. Those were dark moments in my life. One of my friends found out, took me in for a while, and encouraged me to go back to college. Which is what I did. Although I did what Bro. Nikoley told me to. I was still struggling with finances. This time though my doctor told me I shouldn’t be in college. It was really starting to affect my health, but that burden was still there. I wanted God to do something with me, even though I felt like I was nothing. No matter how much I prayed for that, I still felt like a failure, and there came a time when I couldn’t pay my college bill. Certain staff members were telling me to go home. That I was wasting my time and money. I didn’t listen though.
A ship doesn’t sink because of the water that is around it. It sinks becuase of the water that is in it. It’s so easy to get caught up in the approval and opinions of others, but don’t let the water get in your boat. After all that happened, things started to get a little better after that. I was working two jobs, so that I could pay for bible college. It came to my last year of bible college and I was going to graduate. If I wasn’t working, I was in classes, and if I wasn’t in classes, I was studying to make sure that I would graduate. Though I did all of this, I still failed a class and couldn’t graduate. I was soo upset and wanted to give up. My friend Hannah Murphy told me to get back up and try again and to try harder than before. So, I did just that. Your friendships will impact your future. If it wasn’t for Hannah Murphy, I wouldn’t have finished. I got back up and tried a little harder. Then my doctor told me my last semester that there is a possibility that I may lose my liver. That he needed to take certain precautions to avoid that. So, now because of that, I am in more pain, I’m more tired, and I’m a little weaker than I was before. By this time I learned that the more valuable the prize to be won, the greater the difficulty and cost. So, I pushed on and now I can say that I finished bible college. Second to my salvation, graduating is my biggest accomplishment, and I couldn’t have done it without God. Those four years were trying times. I didn’t have much. No health. No finances. No home. I spent holidays and birthdays alone. If all I have though is God, then all I have is all I need (John 14:8). Though my flesh and my heart faileth, God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. I often hear people say that hate is a strong word. Well, I believe so is love. Hate is intense and it expresses that you have a passionately negative feeling towards something or someone. To say that you love someone is equally the same. You have a passionately positive feeling. So many people throw the “L” word around like its nothing. Even if you aren’t a Christian, that word ought to mean something when you use it. And if you are a Christian, then it just mean so much more. The Bible commands us to love one another. Do you sincerely love others? Do you know what is love?
I believe loving others starts with us. In Galatians 5:14, the Bible tells us to love thy neighbor as you love thyself. Now you may ask yourself this, how does loving others start with myself? Well if you don’t love yourself, then how can you possibly love others. Do you love yourself? I mean when you look in the mirror everyday, do you love the person that is staring back? I can tell you that many people don’t, because I was one of them. When we don’t love ourselves and we’re not careful, we will look at others and envy them. Because they have something that you don’t have. Whether it is the good looks, success, skills or qualities we desire to have. And that my friend is not love, because charity envieth not (1 Corinthians 13:4). Learn to love yourself, so that you can love others. To say that you don’t love yourself is saying that you don’t trust the one who made you. God created us in His image, and He loved us so much that He sent His only Son to die for you and I ( Romans 5:8). God loved you first and just the way you are. Maybe you do love yourself and others, but what about your enemies? If you have love, then you shouldn’t have ill will towards anyone not even your enemies. We need to start defining our love the way He defines it. When we truly love someone, we will overlook their faults. No matter how much they hurt you. I’m preaching to myself as well. I think about my mother and how she left me at a young age. I’ve always asked myself, how can I love someone who has never been there for me? We need to be willing to forgive, inclining to be merciful towards them that have hurt us. Love people who can’t love you back. Jesus did! When we were sinners, lost in the world, and rejecting Him, He still loved us. Learn to love people where they are at, and not where you want them to be. Once you have learned to love, go find someone who has no one and show them love. Even if they don’t love you back, always be the first one to love on someone. A true friend will love his friend no matter what, because that is what love is. Happy Valentines Day! New Year's is a time or day when a new calendar year begins. At least that is how Google defines it as. To others it means setting new goals, dreams, and plans that one wishes to achieve. And yes, if you are wondering that is exactly what I have done. My new year's resolution is based off of the bible verse Luke 2:52. And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.
If Jesus, a perfect man of God, was also able to improve, how is it that we can't? I really want to push myself this year especially to give myself completely over to God, because not only does 2020 mark a new year, but a new decade as well. I hope to increase my knowledge by reading and studying more, to increase socially with friends and family, to have a better relationship with the Lord, and so on. I've already started a challenge with a couple of friends to read the entire Bible in 30 days. It is very challenging, but worth it all. So, I encourage you, if you already have not done so, to set Christ as your ultimate goal. Increase your love for Him, your knowledge of Him, your offerings for Him, and your walk with Him. Let's have powerful intentions for a new day, a new year, a new decade! I know that it has been a while since I last posted a blog, four years to be exact. Needless to say, I have been busy. After taking off a year of college, I moved back to California from Texas, and went back to college in September 2017. I changed my major from music education to general education. (Bachelor’s to Associate’s Degree) I felt it was best for my health, although I do miss taking music classes. I have met a lot of new people, one by the name of Esther. She is a good friend. We watch movies, goof off, and pull pranks on each other. She also introduced me to Lupita, who had became my roommate. Lupita is a very godly young lady, a little ditzy, but godly nonetheless. I can learn a lot from her. Speaking of roommates, I had Alysa as one. We were already friends. As for my other roommate, she was someone I never met. A freshman, by the name of Brooke Byram, but I call her Brookie. She’s easy to make fun. It was an interesting room with the four of us. Now I’m back in Texas, because it’s summertime and I had planned on taking off another semester of college off. To help me catch up on finances, but there are very few job opportunities here in El Paso. SO I will be going back to California in August to finish what I hope will be my last semester of college. I’m excited to be done, but also extremely anxious and scared about what the future holds. Anyways, that is all I have to say for now!
It has been a month now since I've had my surgery and wow what an experience it was! I mean that both in an exciting, thirilling way and a not so good moment. Your probably thinking how can a surgery possibly be thrilling, well I guess emotions can bring that out. I recall so much feelings, but I think the one feeling that I recall the most is the feeling of lonliness. I remember waiting in the prep room all alone the day of the surgery, I remember the day before when I had to get a blood transfusion and no one was there as the nurses kept poking me over and over with needles because they couldn't find a vein and had to end up putting a six foot long needle in me. I remember waking up after the surgery to pain that was unthinkable, and I remember trying to walk afterwards and not being able to due to the pain that was beyond belief. I was alone through all of this and not one person was there for me. But lying there that day on the surgery table in a cold, cold room, I prayed for comfort, I prayed for strength, I prayed that God would keep me in His hands. I prayed until I couldn't pray anymore because the anesthesia took over, I prayed my heart out. And I realized that day, that God was there, that He's always been there today and everyday. I'm not writing this to get your pity, because I can tell you now that I do not like being pitied because of my health issues. No I'm writing this so you too can realize that God has been and will always be there for you and me. And that's the thrill of it all! Knowing that our Saviour is there for us in good times and bad times despite all the times we've sinned and come short of His glory. God is so good! And I hope to spend the rest of my life serving Him. The rest of the week had ended up being a good week, I ended up having visitors everyday after those first few lonely days. It didn't matter though because I had realized that God was all I needed and I believe that I grew closer to Him. I think that our storms sometimes are a way for us to get closer to Him. To allow us to grow a relationship with Him.
This thanksgiving had to be the best thanksgiving I've had in a long time! I realized that I took a lot granted, which has me to be so much grateful for the things I have in my life. My salvation, my relationship with God, my siblings and definitely my friends. I can go on and on about all that I'm thankful for, but instead I asked one of my good friends to come on my blog as a guest speaker and just share with us what she's thankful for this thanksgiving. And this is what she wrote,
"Thanksgiving is my all-time favorite holiday of the year. There is an endless supply of delicious food, fun times with family, and most importantly we get to think of what we are thankful for. Being thankful is something that was taught to us kids from an early age but throughout our life, we tend to leave that “thankfulness” at the door. Anyways, this is what I am thankful for in 2016: My God- I am thankful for a God who is the rock during the hard times and the reason I am still breathing and living. My Parents- I am thankful for these two that have always put my needs above theirs and sacrificed so much for me and my siblings to make it in life. My Siblings- I am thankful for those 4 people that have really stood by me and loved me despite my imperfections. My Boyfriend- I am thankful for my Sweetheart for always being a godly leader and encouraging me to always serve God. Oh, yeah and for making my days brighter. My Pastors- I am thankful for my Pastors, Pastor Wives, and their families for always praying for me and loving me and being an example of faithfulness. My BestFriends- I am thankful for my Besties for always giving me advice that wasn’t what I wanted to hear but what was right! And for making me laugh and have fun memories! My Church- I am thankful for my Central Valley Baptist Church for being a bible believing, old time fashioned hymn singing, fiery preaching, and soul winning church! My Students- I am thankful for the students that always give their best and work super hard." -Anna Gaona
When I blog, I write about the things He's done in my life, how He has revealed Himself and guided me, the way He has worked through me so that my testimony may work through others. Maybe only one person may read this, but it doesn't matter, because I'd take one over thousands, if that one person were to come to know Jesus. Besides I always know that He'll do the rest, He'll work through the hearts and allow the Holy Spirit to move. Because being a blogger, I do as He has asked of me and have the faith that He'll work out the rest as He has always done. It only takes Faith and His Grace.
We all have dreams. Maybe that dream is to become a doctor, police officer or fire fighter. Maybe when you were little it was something as silly as becoming a princess or a mad scientist. We all have dreams. My dream though, is to graduate from bible college. And I would've done anything to achieve that dream. I remember how hard I worked to make that dream come true. Literally I worked 12 hours almost every day for three months at a fast food restaurant just to save up enough money. I remember how I used to walk to work with holes in my shoes because I worked hard enough just to keep my job. Sometimes there were days that it rained and it rained hard. But no matter how hard it rained, I would have never let the storm get to me. I used to tell myself that through Christ, all things are possible because He gives me the strength to do so. In my eyes my God was big enough. But then one day, that dream went dimmed, and I lost that vision. What happened to my dream? I got sick, that's what happened. Things started to get overwhelming and I felt like I couldn't do it anymore. I lost my dream. And it hurt like nothing ever before. It didn't matter that I was sick, I just knew that I was giving up. I had felt as if my health, my condition, my disease was holding me back. But then one day I heard a message in church about dreams. It enlightened something within, to get back out there and try again, but with grace and strength of the Lord.
Jim George once said," Your willingness to serve God is as important as your service to God."
When I first read this quote, I thought what does that mean? Then I realized I had a total blonde moment. :) It means exactly what it says. I think about how God has called so many people into the ministry. Whether its to pastor a church, be a Sunday school teacher or a missionary to a foreign country. I think of how He calls us despite the fact that He doesn't need us, but yet wants us. Every person has their very own reason to serve God, but in the bible its clear that when you have a relationship with God, than you have a need to serve God. When Jesus, the Son of God came to earth, it was very obvious that He was a servant for Christ. He came to serve, not be served. It was evident in His work, in his teaching, healing and proclaiming of the Kingdom. In John 13:12-17 he was caught washing the feet of his disciples. Jesus had his heart in it. If you don't have your heart in serving than you are missing the point of it all. But that's not the topic I'm on. The title says, "Where you serve." You know not everyone is called into the ministry, but every one has an occupation. Whether your a pharmacist, accountant, or maybe even just a stay at home mom. Everyone has an occupation, but it matters where you serve. About a week ago when I was working, at a fast food restaurant I must note, I was approached by a pentecostal. He asked me what kind of Baptist I was. I told him I was a independent fundamental Baptist, then he went on to say that he could tell because of my skirt, that I was different and I was a blessing to him. I later invited him to our church and he told me to keep being a light. Now that was a blessing for me too. I think of how so many Christians are not 100% in it. What I mean is that they proclaim to serve God but it only lasts for a season. How come we can't be a light at all times. What if that pentecostal never saw the difference in me from others because I wasn't a full time Christian. Everyday lost people pass us by, some of those people you work with, how will they ever see your light if your just like the world. Or if your not being the servant you need to be. It matters not only where you serve, but how you serve and why. In your occupation be all that you can be and more, but having a relationship with God means being a servant, are you different from the world, do others see your light? Do you go to your job to serve or be served? Are you being the servant that God wants you to be, proclaiming His kingdom. Is your heart in it? Don't ever think that your occupation, your job is fruitless, even if you are just a stay at home mom (Colossians 1:10). Man's sin is in his failure to live what he is, often forgetting that they are the servant of God. |
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Charmaine accepted Christ at the age of 19, and now attends Golden State Baptist College in Santa Clara, CA. Where she is pursuing her Associate’s Degree in General Education. Archives
October 2020
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